Thursday, December 13, 2018

Airing My Dirty Laundry

It's a good thing that no one's reading this blog anymore, because I'm about to let loose. My relationship is pretty close to being in complete shambles. At this juncture, I'm pretty sure we're both to blame, but his short temper doesn't help. It's times like these that I long for the days when I was single and carefree dating whomever and whenever I wished. Life was a cabaret and I was a young, slightly heavier Liza Minnelli.
There are times that my relationship is everything I've ever wanted and then there are times like right now. I wish he'd pack all his belongings and go suckle on his mother's teet (since that's what I suspect he does when he goes over there anyway).
There are also times when I contemplate being a lesbian, only to realize that I'm not attracted to women. A girl just doesn't have many options these days.
And let's face it, I'm no spring chicken. Who knows how many child bearing years I have left?? If the old man was out of here, I would totally begin the adoption process. But, no. Still waiting on a man.
Isn't it funny that after all that sufferin' for sufferage, I'm still letting a man rule my life. Ugg. But, it's true. You can't be married to yourself, although if you could, that would be awesome! You can't fertilize your womb by yourself, but again, if that was possible, how convenient would that be?! And probably not as messy as the real deal.
So, here I am. A woman now 30 who has invested 3 years into a man who may or may not be worth it after all. What to do? Kick him to the curb? Try and work it out?
Turns out there are no easy answers. Usually, I'm a pretty decisive kinda gal, but today, wishy-washy at best.
Relationships suck.