Thursday, December 13, 2018

Airing My Dirty Laundry

It's a good thing that no one's reading this blog anymore, because I'm about to let loose. My relationship is pretty close to being in complete shambles. At this juncture, I'm pretty sure we're both to blame, but his short temper doesn't help. It's times like these that I long for the days when I was single and carefree dating whomever and whenever I wished. Life was a cabaret and I was a young, slightly heavier Liza Minnelli.
There are times that my relationship is everything I've ever wanted and then there are times like right now. I wish he'd pack all his belongings and go suckle on his mother's teet (since that's what I suspect he does when he goes over there anyway).
There are also times when I contemplate being a lesbian, only to realize that I'm not attracted to women. A girl just doesn't have many options these days.
And let's face it, I'm no spring chicken. Who knows how many child bearing years I have left?? If the old man was out of here, I would totally begin the adoption process. But, no. Still waiting on a man.
Isn't it funny that after all that sufferin' for sufferage, I'm still letting a man rule my life. Ugg. But, it's true. You can't be married to yourself, although if you could, that would be awesome! You can't fertilize your womb by yourself, but again, if that was possible, how convenient would that be?! And probably not as messy as the real deal.
So, here I am. A woman now 30 who has invested 3 years into a man who may or may not be worth it after all. What to do? Kick him to the curb? Try and work it out?
Turns out there are no easy answers. Usually, I'm a pretty decisive kinda gal, but today, wishy-washy at best.
Relationships suck.

11 comments:

Unknown said...

I agree with you. Relationships do indeed suck. I am 40, with kids and a husband of almost 11 years and this past year has been a trial and not the pleasant kind but the air your dirty laundry kind that makes you think you're under a big tent instead of a courtroom.

Anyway, I find that I am angry enough to pack my own stuff and go but only if I know it would really rip his heart out ;}

Queen, III said...

Lol! right?! It's only worth it if you know it's going to pack a punch.

tracey said...

Hang in there, I've been married 27 years and the good times mixed with the bad times, makes it so much better in the end. You vowed for better or for worse. If you can try hard to do your part, it will be amazing that you got through it together!

Tanya said...

I'm only 20 but I have to say you're only 30, you still have a great while to have a baby. Only you can decide whether he is right for you or not but you have to think about some deep questions. Can you see yourself living with your current boyfriend for the next ten years or more? If he's holding you back and the bad things outweigh the good, then you shouldn't stay with him just because its easier being together than going out into the world alone

Rick and T said...

You are young. 30? You have lots of good years left! Rick
makingmyway2010.blogspot.com

Jimmy Mc said...

The last 3 comments were spot on. You have to decide in your heart what to do. Don't rely on the kids part because you are only 30 and have plenty of time. There are some great guys out there I just think some of us seem to fish in the wrong pond. We continue to have these failed relationships and it comes to a point where we have to look at ourselves. That is what I did and realized that I had to be single to find that right relationship.
Do what is right for you, stand by your guns, and if does fall apart make sure you learn to spend time really learning about you.
Good Luck and I so understand your post!

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TexasBlueEyes said...

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Anonymous said...

I am not having kids. I am 52. I am free to do what I want when I want and I think my friends who have kids are jealous. I am so glad I decided to not have kids.
Have you ever thought about NOT having kids? Just a thought...I don't expect an answer. Even at 30 it sounds as if you have a lot of growing up to do. B.