My allergy medicine is making me feel like I'm three sheets to the wind! I don't even know how I'm managing to type this post, because I feel so doped, I can barely blink my eyes without my head falling over.
I have to teach small children today and I think that any minute now, my head will come crashing to the keyboard as I fall into a drug-induced slumber/slight coma.
Me: Today class, we'll be stu...(head hits desk.)
Students: (after pausing tensly) Miss Rice? Miss Rice?!
(There is no reply. Julio gets up to try and awaken me.)
Julio: She won't get up. I guess we'll just use her cell phone to call the cute paramedics.
(Cute paramedics arrive.)
Cute paramedic 1: Miss Rice, what illegal substances have you been taking?
Me: What? No! I haven't been taking anything! Except for my allergy medicine, but that's it!! I swear! It's my allergy medicine! I passed out because of my allergy medicine. I'm very sensitive, you know. (I purse my lips, just in case he pities me in a sort of "I want to go out with you" way.)
Cute paramedic 2: We've heard it all before, Miss Rice. Book her, Danno.
Me: When the hell did Danno get here?! I thought Julio just called the cute paramedics!
Julio: I accidently dialed Hawaii 5-0 before I called 911. Sorry.
So, you see, this could get ugly - very, very ugly! I hope I sober up....uh... I mean... I hope this allergy medicine wears off soon, or I could be in for a cute, but unpleasant surprise!
Cute paramedic?
5 comments:
Hmmm, this might not be such a bad idea. However, I have no experience with cute paramedics. Terrifying ER night nurses whose idea of fun is guessing what you ate for dinner by looking at your vomit, (I am not making this up)--those, I have experience with. Anyway, you'll have to make sure you pass out near a fire department so they'll send the Everycity Fire / Rescue. Now they're cute!
Yeah, maybe you should mention that you washed those pills down with a couple of margaritas.
Yeah... gummi bears are not allergy medicine.
Actually, I reccomend very spicy food to clear up the hazy allergy feeling. Mmmmmm... spicy! Try Thai.
Or a neti pot. I saw them on the news. You will look SUPER stupid while doing it, but it's supposed to work...
A-dub: the neti pot may be the strangest thing I've ever seen!! I wonder if it works...
Forky: I didn't wash my allergy medicine down with a margarita YESTERDAY! That was Saturday. Get it straight!
Chachinnator - I'll try the Thai and get back with you!
Post a Comment