Malaise. A malaise has crept into my eyeballs, probably a remnant of the pink eye I got a couple of weeks ago.
I know what you're thinking: "Eww. Pink eye. Only dirty people get pink eye." I oft have thought the exact same thing. But heed my warning, this line of thinking will only lead to your demise! Especially if you work with small children.
An additional reason for my malady is the weather. It's still cold. I'm so, so tired of the cold weather.
*sigh* *heavy sigh* *heavy, heavy sigh*
Shouldn't we all be hibernating during the cold weather??! Having to function in the cold is unnatural.
I don't know how people stand sub-zero temperatures without faking a 5 month coma...wait a minute...I wonder if I could do that...fake a coma...
I think I could fake a coma. I mean, I do have a theatre degree. So, how hard can it be? Just don't ever open your eyes when other people are around. Or maybe even have a series of several comas...where I am "comatose" for several days, then wake up to watch Judge Judy, then go back to sleep when doctors start talking about physical therapy and doing anything besides getting up to go to the bathroom. If I was convicing enough I'm sure no one would catch on.
Besides, I'm already sleepy. I think I'll get right on that. Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for several days. Being in a "coma" is very consuming and I can only be expected to do so much.
4 comments:
Just don't fall in love with your day nurse--he may only like you 'cause you're in a coma.
Great. I'm not even in the hospital yet and my day nurse is already a pervert. I can't catch a break, can I?
And you can't move. What happens if you have to scratch your nose? You can't very well do that if your mother is keeping constant vigil, trying to keep your boyfriend from pulling out your feeding tube.
I'm not gonna be in a "feeding tube" coma!! Just a light coma, where I wake up every few days to eat a bite. And my mom can't keep a constant vigil. She has a career.
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