Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Keep your hands and feet to yourself!!


I say this about 500 times a day. No joke. However, it's a little hypocritical of me since I can't seem to do it myself. Well, I think that I probably keep my feet to myself, but sometimes it's hard to remember...

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, well, I think the make-out bandit is finally going to hang up her cape. I know some of you might be a bit disappointed, but do not fret! This doesn't mean in anyway that I'm never going to make out with anyone ever again. Far from it! It just means that I will no longer engage in random make-out sessions with any of the following: village idiots, regular idiots, psychos, socially retarded, the angry, gamblers, serial daters, anyone from match.com, the home-schooled, virgins, anyone younger than my brother, anyone less mature than my brother, the divorced, anyone with children, atheists, devout Catholics, jehovah's witnesses, military personnel, homosexuals, alcoholics, nymphomaniacs, narcissists, next-door neighbors, the maintenance man, AND preacher's kids (because I am one - and that would be explosive).

Notice I left football players off the list. That means T.O. is still, of course, fair game.

So there you have it! I already feel so... so... so much like THE picture of restraint. Look at me, getting off on being withholding!

I'm keeping my hands, my feet, my lips, etc. to myself for a while. I won't say for how long... just in case I decide that this is a horrible, horrible idea and that what the world needs now is love, sweet love, and I'm the one to give it to 'em. But I haven't decided that yet, so check in tomorrow to see if I'm still wearing a nun's habit.

Let the great experiment begin!!!
(okay, that's my last Arrested Development reference, I swear!)

14 comments:

Sarah said...

I generally go by the muule rule, which is I won't date/make out with those that are: married, ugly, underage, lesbian, or enrolled. However, I think you're more thorough than I.

The Cliff said...

that's quite a thorough list you've got there. I am glad that I don't fall under any of those non-makeout requirements. When the nun habit comes off just remember you owe me a drink

Queen, III said...

nuns can drink, silly! and it's more like a mini-habit... with just a smidge of clevage. just a smidge.

Just telling it like it is said...

All I am saying is that I I am your first love and if you are even even suggesting that when we get together that you are not going to marry me in the end well then then I am done with you...will not make out randomly..shie't what what kind of girl do you think think I am...speaking of which...I am glad that the kid is in your art class...hope fully he called you b y the right name...and not his like thinking that he is automatically going to get an A cause he had the in...the in... like ya I know you...your my mothers...bestest friend ever...you know the one that saves her from herself when when she is dieing...and oh the one that is fix fix on your busoms...and can't spell but loves you endlessly anyway...

The Cliff said...

Well that's good. Mini-habits are OK...they're even kinda hot. I have a mini-monk-cloak at times. So let me know when you wanna have drinks then.

Queen, III said...

I will!!! Do you live at the JoB? I'll probably come down to visit a-dub soon. We should test each other's tolerance for liquor!

Tracy said...

Wow! When the Don and the Queen meet up, y'all must blog about it! :)

The Cliff said...

Yes Queen, i'm in JoB...living in the 'bad part' of town....but it's all good. Just let me know when you come down, I have some...special beverages, that you might find fun.

Anonymous said...

So have you failed yet?

Queen, III said...

NO!! Not yet, Cach! Geez!! It's only been two days! I do have SOME ability to control myself!

Anonymous said...

I, for one, am quite motivated by your shot at abstinence. Not willing to do it myself, but nonetheless, snaps to you.

Got my angel. Totally worth the wait!

Moderator said...

You kind of eliminated most males.

It's ok. Making-out is overrated. Go straight to dry humping.

Queen, III said...

Thanks for the snaps, Jenn.
And Grant Miller, thank you for that suggestion! I'll look into and get back to you!

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