In Deep Smit

That's right. I'm in it up to my eyeballs. Smit. I'm smitten. And while some of you think that because of my tendency to gravitate toward horrible jerk-offs, this one has to be TERRIBLE, you're wrong. Wrong!!

So, why is this not a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea?? Because this one's a gem, and so unlike any of the others I've been out with as of late you're going to blown away. I'm not kidding. YOU'LL BE BLOWN AWAY!!!!

Prepare yourselves.

Here we go:
He's a teacher, like me. He loves Jack Black, like me. He loves my dog, like me. He's good at math, not like me. He has an engaging personality and easy smile, like me. He drives a Honda, like me. One time, he threw up in the neighbor's yard, like me. He's the oldest sibling, like me. He goes to church every Sunday, like me (stop laughing. I DO go to church every Sunday!!!Think of how much of a heathen I'd be if I didn't!) He thinks I'm fabulous, like me. He thinks I'm really funny, like me. He likes my hair, like me. He's good at his job, like me. He's socially ept, like me. And...the real clincher....you probably won't believe it, but it's true...he's...he's...

a preacher's kid...

like me.

Now, I know that most of you are thinking, "Oh, holy jebus, two preaher's kids in one dating relationship sounds like the worst idea in the history of mankind!" And most of the time, that would probably be true. But, so far, it's proven to be PERFECT! He hasn't even tried to get into my pants!! And it's not because he's gay. I swear. "But you've accidently dated gay guys before, Queen," you're thinking.

This is true. But, he's totally not gay. The accidental dating of gay guys has given me excellent gaydar.

I'm going to chuch with him tomorrow. Seriously.

See, naysayers?? See?? It's not nearly as ominous as it sounds!! It's almost the exact opposite of ominous!

Now, you're probably all wondering about all the other guys I've been going out with. Well, I've decided not to go out with them anymore. I KNOW! I'm just as surprised as you! But, I felt prompeted when Son of a Preacher Man (SOAPM) sent me a text message in the middle of the day, for no real reason, telling me he was thinking about me. "Oh," I thought. "This sounds like it could be serious. And he's not a fuckwit, so maybe I should cut it off with the fuckwits I AM seeing, so I don't go and screw up a good thing."

Are you surprised by my sudden wisedom??? See?? It was in there all along, I just chose not to access it. Generally, fooishness makes for a more interesting story than wisedom.

So, because I seem to be making wiser decisions in my dating life, I've decided to be fantastically foolish in some other area of my life, so I still have something to blog about! Do not fret, I will continue to entertain you all by giving you examples of what NOT to do.

For instance, tomorrow, after I go to church with SOAPM, I'm going to come home, eat as much pizza as I can, then go swimming in the cold pool water, until someone has to call the paramedics! It's going to be GREAT!!!!

Misadventure, you will be my constant companion.