So, I'm on vacation. I'm sleeping late, I'm watching TV....a lot like I did this summer. The difference?? I haven't gotten fat yet! Of course it's only been about 3 days. Also, I've been seeing a lot of SOAPM, which has been delightful. Sunday I went to SOAPM's church. I was feelin' fine about it, until I got about a mile from the church. Then, I started sweating.
SWEATING!! I don't sweat. Even when I go run miles upon miles, I glisten. I'm just not a sweater. So, I figure, I'm just a little nervous. I give myself a pep talk, "Okay, Queen, get yourself together. You're hot and gorgeous! Everybody loves you! Nobody is as fabulous as you! You're smart and clever and SOAPM is a lucky, lucky man!" I feel better for about 5 seconds.
See, the problem is, from what he's told me his mother sounds a lot like me. I would HATE to face me as a mother! I'm a hard woman to face. My brother's girlfriend's are scared of me! Imagine if they were my son's girlfriends! I would be TERRIFYING!
I'm contemplating this as I'm walking into the church. Still sweating.
I'm late. On purpose. Fashionably late. (I look fabulous, by the way.) I sit down and am graciously received by a couple of members. I'm still sweating. And kind of nervous.
So, there I am in church, sitting by myself, as SOAPM plays the bass guitar for the church and is at the front. And then it dawns on me...
I'm sweatin' like a whore in church.
huh.
7 comments:
You're too funny, Qiii! How did it go meeting your future MIL? ;)
Well, it was short and formal. And I graciously left as soon as I could. I mean, I was sweating!
I sweat in Church sometimes, but then again, many people would say I'm the essence of all evil...so it only makes sense
So far, so good. I'm with you here, Q3. You're sure he's not gay?
You didn't burst into the flames or anything. That's a plus! ;)
I just love when metaphors come true...It would only be true if you really dressed the part. What did you wear?
I love it.
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