Mad, I tell you! Quite Mad!!

A few weeks ago, I had a great idea! My Man Out of Jail and I (who, by the way I have now been seeing for over a year (I KNOW!)) really wanted to taste the "Best Hamburger in America" as rated by somebody important. It just so happened that "Best Hamburger in America" was only about a 40 minute drive away. Man Out of Jail said, "Let's drive." And I said, "Wait! I have a great idea! Let's ride public transit!"

In Texas, those are famous last words.

"Best Hamburger in America" was pretty awesome....BUT... it took 4 hours to get it and then 3 more hours to get back home and about 2 of those hours were spent waiting for a bus/train in 100 degree heat. It was a disaster. And it was all my idea.

Needless to say, Man Out of Jail won't be listening to any of my "great" ideas anytime soon.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, that when we were getting off of the train, to then get on the bus that would take us to "Best Hamburger in America," I fell down the stairs, flat on my face and broke my flip-flop (and lost the last two ounces of my dignity). Do you have any idea how hard it is to walk in a broken flip-flop? It probably would have been easier to hop.

*sigh* I have good intentions, though. It's too bad the road to heaven isn't paved with them.

Fatty McFat Pants

I have gotten soooooo fat. I know that hearing people say that when they've gained a mere 10 or so pounds is obnoxious. Nobody wants to hear you complain about your fatness. And yet, here I am. Complaining.

You see around March of this year, I was lookin pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. However, life got hectic, and my diet and workout plan went down the drain. Then, this summer, I thought that instead of taking a full-time break for 10 weeks, I'd sign up for a full-time job...outside...in the Texas heat...all summer. Clearly, I have no sense.

For most people, a job in the heat would discourage them from eating a lot, but not me, no sir! Whatever I could get my hands on, I shoved it my mouth and washed it all down with some Gatorade...you know, to stay hydrated.

Imagine my surprise this morning when I put on some pants that are usually quite baggy and found said pants barely buttonable. BARELY buttonable!!

I am now in deep loathing of myself. And isn't that the most frustrating part?? That you can't fix your weight problems in just a couple of days?? I can't believe how unaware I've been of my gradual expansion!

*sigh* If only I had the discipline to have an eating disorder. I mean, once you recover from bulimia, you are never fat again, right? Have you ever seen a fat recovering bulimic? But, alas, I have not the strength to carry out such a diet plan! I'll be lucky to muster up the discipline to stop drinking Dr. Pepper every single day.

The bottom line is, I must do something quickly as I'm about to out widen all my clothes. And I have not the funding to purchase an entirely new, wider wardrobe.

Wish me luck, that is if anyone is still reading this blog, which I doubt they are...but if you are, wish me luck. I'm gonna do something, even if it involves eating less.

I hate eating less.

Nobody Loves Me

Listen, I know that my posting has been sporadic at best and I know that I have let all 4 of my faithful readers down. I know this. I know. And I'm sorry. I feel kind of like I've been cheating on all of you! The guilt I've been carrying has been just too awful, so even though I've done this about a hundred times, I'm recommitting myself, to you, my readers and to my blog as a whole. In fact, I've set aside time everyday to make sure that my blog is my first priority. And if this sounds dubious, I'll add that the time I've set aside is time that I'm also at work....so when you factor that in, I think that you can have a little more confidence in my dedication.

"But, Queen," you say. "You've made this promise before! Why should we believe you??" Because...I'm blogging at work. Let me show you in an algebraic equation: Blog access at work + my questionable work ethic + my renewed promise to ALL my faithful readers = Blog Dedication. Don't you see, faithful readers?! Don't you?! The elements, as Dr. Watson would say, are coming together!! And maybe, slowly but surely, as I prove my dedication, 4 faithful readers will become 6 and 6 will become 10 and I'll be the happiest girl of all time!!!!!

I'm here for your daily reading pleasure. I promise. And maybe when I finally prove my loyalty, you'll love me as much as I love you. Maybe...just may be...