So, I've been living life on the straight and pretty narrow and whilst I feel VERY righteous, I'm becoming incredibly boring. My life is even starting to be boring to me. *yawn* I have very little to talk about, which, for those of you know me, IS PHENOMENAL!! Phenomenal, yet very, very boring.
I made out this weekend, but it was a guy I'd already made out with, so who cares, right? It doesn't count as a make-out bandit act, so what difference does it make? My cape is still hanging on that hook in the closet, along with my mask that doesn't disguise me very well at all. *yawn*
My next-door neighbor is still begging to sleep with me and I'm still refusing. Old news.
I go to bed too early to go on any dates. Boring.
I'm being really mean to all my students right now, so they won't run amuck later on in the year, so no one is saying anything ridiculous or cute like, "Miss Queen, did you know that painting looks like a woman's vagina?"
I'm exercising, going to bed early, eating right, walking my dog regularly, disciplining my students, not trying to duck out of work an hour early every day. I've hung up the make-out bandit cape. The only person who calls at night is my mother....and sometimes I call her first. My bestie's moving to New York City. I'm SO boring!!!
And you all know what that means! I'm probably about to stir up some trouble. I can't help it. It's a compulsion.
You know that part in The Grinch where he pulls that table cloth out from under the perfectly set table and nothing falls down? Then he walks away? And then three beats later, he walks back and knocks everything down and makes a big mess? Well, that's how I usually conduct my everyday life! And I like it! All this discipline is about to drive me crazy! I don't know what I'm going to do yet, or how, but just you watch! Chaos will soon ensue!!! bwa. ha. ha.
I know. I have issues.
14 comments:
There's nothing wrong with issues...issues are fun! Has the cape really been hung up long enough for you to be the Grinch?? There's always Saturday Nights...that's when make out bandits come out from hiding under secret, mild-mannered secret identities.
I wish I was there to see the madness... I know how it is, my bandit cape has been hung up since before I left for Baklava-ville...unfortunately
Queen, you're doing great. Now keep it up, dammit. (And by the way, yes, this weekend's makeout does count as a return of the makeout bandit. Get out of denial, Cleopatra!) And don't go stirring up trouble! That's how babies are made.
Amen, Cach...
Queenie, boring can be good?! Sometimes. Right?!
Don Boscoe,
It is too bad you aren't here to see the madness! I can't believe that you didn't release the make-out bandit on those Baklava-villians! It probably would have done them some good!
Cach -
NO!! In order for it to be an act of the make-out bandit, it has to be (1) a random make-out, (2) a make-out and run, (3) with absolutely no attachments. Those are the qualifications. And I've been seeing this weekend's make-out session casually for about 2 months, so it totally doesn't count! I will stay in denial!!!!!
Xannas,
I can't ever imagine a time when boring can be good! Except for maybe in the middle of a hurrincane or tornado. I mean, can you?
Unfortunately there were no Baklava-villians to unleash the cape upon. But anytime you need a partner in crime or a witness do the madness let me know. JoB is only 90 miles from everycity...it's a fun little motorcycle ride away.
You have a motorcycle?! You do wear a helmet, don't you?
Of course i wear a helmet!! I don't want to be the Make-Out coma patient!! Just the make-out bandit. However, I fear I'm coming sadly close to retiring the uniform. How long of a slump can an official bandit be in before they turn back into a normal person?
There is no set time period. I was in hiding for 3 1/2 years. So, I think that you're fine!
That's good...cause I like my cape, it's sweet!
There's the make-out bandit and there's the make-out buddy. Two different capes. You always have to have a couple of numbers stashed in your cell that you can call when you feel the need and the pickins are slim.
Good point Sarah, But I seem to have only one cape...the other cape gets me in too much trouble and has been retired.
So...where you a good girl this weekend or did the Bandit make an appearance?
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