Where Have I Been? Escuela.

That means school in Spanish. Because school's back in session!!! And for the first time in my life, I am SO excited. I spent the whole week setting up my classroom and getting things ready for my students who'll be there Monday. So, Don Boscoe, that's where I've been.

I hate that I've been such a fair-weathered blogger. I know how annoying that is! And, what makes it worse is, that I have some CRAZY stories to tell - for reals! I got this message from Don Boscoe:
"Where oh where have you gone? I came back to the great state of Texas expecting my new friend Queen to have exciting stories for me and alas, nothing since my return...what's the deal?? Were you abducted by aliens?? "

Don Boscoe, I've been here, right here, all this time! I'm never very far away, ever!! Then, I accidently messed up a bunch of stuff on my profile, but I've SO got it figured out now! THEN, my brother got back in from Montreal and THEN my mother came into town to bring him back home, but she decided she'd stay the whole weekend and THEN I decided I start training for a half-marathon, so I have to get up at the middle of the night just to be able to withstand the heat. But, I'm here for you! I'm here for ALL of you!! I will NEVER leave you!! EVER!!! I'm so serious.

So let me update:
Right now I'm watching some TV movie with a couple of the fellas from N'Sync and it's awful, but I can't stop watching.

Last week, I went out with this guy, you know the one I told you that I accidently made out with and he thought that meant true love? So, anyway, like the true idiot I am, I went out with him again to this party way up in an Everycity suburb. During the party, he kept coming up behind me and putting his arms around my waist like he had known me forever. I was completely repulsed and tried to get out of it gracefully, but he made it QUITE difficult. Keep in mind that he had only even seen me 3 times in his entire life!! It was weird.

Okay, so let's back track a little. Remember how I said that I had accidently made out with him? Well, that wasn't all of the story. During the "session," he kept talking, which, generally is a bad sign, but that's neither here nor there. He said many things, but the real thing of import that he said, was, AND I SWEAR TO JEHOVA, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, "I want to make you pregnant."

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! He was serious. I was traumatized. And then, as if that wasn't enough, as if I wasn't already completely horrified, he said - IN THE SAME BREATH - "When are you fertile?"

oh. holy. jebus.

I left shortly after this horrifying incident, but the real clincher is I went out with him again!!!! I was obviously bored, or competely out of my mind. Or maybe, I thought, deep down, he was really kidding. Who would actually be retarded enough to say...those...things...i think i just threw up in my mouth.

Okay, so back to the party. I decide I HAVE to leave. I have to go. It was creepy. So, I'm heading out to my car. He's walking with me. (Naturally.) I get to my car.
"Thanks. This was fun." I'm lying.

He turns me around to face him, puts his arms around my waist and says to me:
"Let's make this the longest good-bye ever."

For real. I'm not lying. Who says things like this? I say:
"Ha! Ha! You're funny! I have to go."

I ease out of his death grip of love, peck him on the cheek (as a consolation prize), get in my car and get the heck out of dodge.

I haven't heard from him since. I think I must have hurt his feelings...but geez! This N'Sync movie is more fun than my date with crazy-loser man! So, I think I'll just count my blessings and not complain about the N'Sync movie... despite the commercials. I'm so noble.