SOAPM, I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. But, my hands are tied! You've forced me to this mischievous nonsense.
Remember weekend before last when we were on a double date at the movies and you left in the middle of the movie to talk on your cell phone for a good 30 minutes? And remember this past Friday when we went to your sister's horrid Showtune Choir concert (and I had to listen to a pasty white girl butcher Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly") and in the middle of horrid concert, you once again took a call on your cell phone and were gone for well over 10 minutes? Remember?? And remember how both times, the "person," whose "urgent" calls you were taking, turned out to be your ex-girlfriend??
*sigh*
Well, SOAPM there are consequences for your incredulous actions. So, when we go to Noo Yuck, to see my bestie, Forky in his off-off Broadway show, I'm going to fail to mention (inadvertently, of course) that there's lots of naked boobies and lesbian soft-porn scenes within said show.
And, while this will probably hurt your conservative disposition, make you terribly uncomfortable, and possibly a little sick, I'm not going to feel bad for you. In fact, I'll probably be squealing with delight inside my very attractive little body (that you won't ever get to touch again). It may seem horribly cruel to do this to you, especially since you claim that you "haven't done anything wrong," but contrariwise, my mischief is mercifully just!
It's really too bad that you couldn't get it right, SOAPM. But, you leave me with no choice! I have to be mean to you now. I wonder what you thought was going to happen when you STARTED TAKING PHONE CALLS FROM YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME!!!!
You must have thought I was born yesterday. You also must have thought that I wasn't vengeful.
See? Even a math teacher can miscalculate.
Did I mention that the naked lesbians are going to touch you, too?
5 comments:
That's TERRIBLE, Queen III! Seriously. He's already going to be in shock from being in New York for the first time! How can you be so mean?
(Just be sure to sit in the front row directly behind the bed)
thanks for the tip.
hehehe...I love your style! I also bow at your sneakyness, vengefulness and use of escalating font that I may have to steal!
I would pay to see a pasty white girl butcher that song.
Thanks, Jack. I'm not sure SOAOM will appreciate it as much, however.
And fortunately, Grant Miller, I didn't have to pay. I got that memory for free.
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