Dear Queen, III,
Even though your laziness has reached an all time high, I still love you! You are just too fabulous not to love. Now it's true that most of the time you could do more with your hair, and for the love of Pete, could you put some eyeliner on every now and again??? But, despite your tendency toward couch potato-ism, you're still pretty great, and I should know.
Wasn't it great to see RHMFT today in Hott Yoga and watch his "professional trainer" a$$ get kicked?? Man, that was too fun! I'm pretty sure the delight you took in his struggles with the 34 postures of the Fire class might go against Yoga principles, but whatev. He had it comin'!
But, I really do need to get down to business here, Queen. You're turning into a lazy good-for-nothing! This is not what we intended! I realize that your man's in jail and you're confused about whether or not you should use this time to revel in your Spinsterhood, or to "stand by your man," so to speak, but your idleness is seriously ridiculous. I mean, the hours consumed by TV alone are staggering. I also realize that the incessant rain has really put a damper on your plans to get a kick-a$$ tan this summer, but for the love of Joe, just reactivate your tanning salon membership!! You see, there really is a solution to every problem!
Listen, you have 1.75 months of summer vacation left. That's plenty of time to redeem yourself! Get to it. Before you lose all your friends, Taraji emancipates himself, and you get more cellulite on you butt. And I'm only saying this because I care.
Yours always and forever,
Queen, III
3 comments:
I'm making a Margaret face in response to the tanning salon idea. Do you not remember the story I just told you about the patient with the malignant melanoma? She's dead and she was a YOGA INSTRUCTOR!!! See--yoga can't save you from everything. No tanning!
Well, geez. What do you want me to do?!! It's been raining for 1.5 months practically continuously!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I might be going crazy.
Post something new. We're all terribly worried about you.
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