Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Oh, yeah! I'm American.

God bless America. I mean that. It's a great place. Sure, everybody hates us and we're fat and obnoxious and our economy is declining, blah, blah, blah, but very few of us DON'T use deodorant. And that's what makes a great. We smell good. Delicious, even, when compared to some. Body odor here in the US is frowned upon. Not so in French-Canada. Oh, no! There were smells that slapped me in the face whilst walking down the street. Not even in New York City have I ever, ever smelled such offensive and disgusting odors! And really, we all know that's saying somethin'! There was one incident, in which we were walking down the street, and with every step, the odor became increasingly more horrendous. I think my brother might have thrown up in his mouth. I just laughed hysterically.

You see, that's what I do when things get unbearably disgusting. I laugh. Hysterically. For a long time. Then I get weak in the knees and am rendered useless for at least two hours. I always, ALWAYS laugh at fart jokes. Guess which part I laughed the hardest at in dumb and dumber? You guessed it! That horrible, laxitive, massivie farting scene. It's true. I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is.

So you can imagine, the amount of laughter and thereby energy I expended while walking the streets of Montreal. I'm still recovering.

7 comments:

The Cliff said...

You should try walking the streets of and Arabic city when it's 110 degrees and everyone is wearing thick robes....I feel your pain! But it's good that you are back in the good, ole U.S. of A. I'll be there shortly...so are we going to go out drinking?? Or was that just a tease you through out to a skinny white boy a couple months ago?

Queen, III said...

No!! Of course we'll go out drinking!!! I would never tease a nice, skinny white boy like you!! It will be tres fab!
110 degrees and thick robes?! I would never stop laughing!

The Cliff said...

i think even you would have to stop laughing once or twice to throw up a little in your mouth

Queen, III said...

ewww...I hate throw up in my mouth! Even when I'm laughing!

Tracy said...

Yes, ma'am! Aren't you glad you use Dial?

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