There comes a time in every mid-twenties single girl's life when she starts to really wonder what the heck is wrong with her. For me, this happens at least twice a year. While I'm in Everycity, I never really think about it. But, when I go home, this malaise creeps upon me like a chigger bug and bites me right behind the knee.
You see, everyone in my family is attached to some significant other... everyone except me that is. Brother is attached, BFF is married, even my fat ugly cousin is married!! And to someone who actually has a sense of humor and isn't significantly malformed in any way!!
At first, I don't notice. But after awhile, it starts to plague me. Why am I not attached? What is wrong with me? How can my fat, ugly, uninteresting, slightly retarted cousin be married and I can't even get a guy to commit to go to the movies with me??? There must be something horribly, terribly wrong with me!!!
And it doesn't help that my mother keeps saying encouraging things like, "Don't worry honey, when the time is right you'll find him!" Maybe this is why I puked in the neighbor's front lawn.
The thing of it is, I don't even really want to be attached. I like sleeping by myself everynight. I like using men for free meals and such. I like spending time by myself doing whatever I want whenever I want. But being around married people and significantly attached people makes me neurotic. Or, to be accurate, MORE neurotic than usual. Like I need help being MORE neurotic.
Anywho, I'll snap out of it in about a week or two, but until then, I'm probably gonna have to watch a few chick flicks and listen soft rock until I'm sick and tired of love.
4 comments:
Hmmm....I think you have the "past Thanksgiving, but not quite Christmas teacher" blues.
This, too, shall pass.
Like your lunch date with your parents.
Ha!! You're probably right... I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't spend another full week at the parentals this Christmas...it's probably bad for my liver.
I think you just have crappy taste in men. Take a cue from the fat ugly cousin!
Cach - I can't stand you! I go out with anyone who asks me out! That's my rule. It doesn't mean I'll go out with them again, but I'll give just about anyone a chance. Remember?? I'm an equal opportunity woman!! But, I can't even REMEMEBER the last time a "nice" guy asked me out. It was probably in high school. "Nice" guys are scared of me. I'm not the kind of girl a "nice" guy asks out. Apparently, "nice" guys don't like girls with phat asses. (and I'm not talking about my donkey)
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