Mantra

I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic.

But, see, even with this mantra that I've been chanting incessently, I'm still a little bit neurotic...and here's why:

SOAPM lives with his parents. His conservative, religious parents. Now, you might be thinking, "But, Queen, your dad's a preacher too, so you should understand!"

At first glance, one might think so, but the truth is, in comparison to SOAPM's family, my family is a band of wild liberals, throwing conventional wisdom to the wind, interpreting the scriptures with a devil-may-care attitute, letting their children run wild through the night, allowing their daughter to wear two-piece bathing suits and flaunt her cleavage, granting permission to their offspring to make their own decisions no matter how foolish and crazy.

SOAPM's family is CONSERVATIVE and sometimes a bit overbearing. And he lives with them. That means they're keeping tabs on when he comes home, when he leaves, who he's with and why. While his family doesn't know for certain my family is a band of wild liberals, I live in daily fear of them discovering.

What happens when his parents find out that my mom is a raging feminist, who thinks all the pronouns that reference God in the bible should be changed to "She"? And what happens when his parents find out that my dad believes in evolution and in science? And what happens when his parents find out that I agree with my parents? And what happens when his parents find out that I've seen their son scantilly clad? OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I'm starting to sweat just thinking about it.

(I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic.)

I'm not sure how much longer I can handle the living-in-parents'-house situation! I don't like the parents of the boys I'm dating to know what I'm up to! I don't like it one bit!! There've been some nights when I've kept SOAPM out until, like, 5 am!!! They had to know we weren't just talking!!!!!

I'm sweating.

(I will not be neurotic. I will not be neurotic. I WILL NOT BE NEUROTIC.)

SOAPM claims he's saving money to buy a house, but he has no contracts pending, no real-estate agent. WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END???!!! If it it truly is temporary, then I can handle it. But....what if it's not????

You all know what that means.

He gets kicked to the curb....with my brand new, super-hott boots.

SOAPM, if you can hear me: don't make me kick you with my super-hott boots. (Although, they are VERY nice to look at.) Move out. Get your own place. I promise I won't ask for a key - only that you keep the bathroom clean.