After just a week, I have failed miserably! And I'm not even completely sure what I did! Last Tuesday is when I started all the trouble that I described yesterday. What a glorious plan it was indeed!!! Between Tuesday and Friday, I got about 40 text messages from A-man!! He was crazed!
He kept saying things like, "I miss you" and "You're so awesome" and "I can't stop thinking about you!" I'm not joking. They just kept coming! I thought, "Man! I have this in the bag! I'm so fabulous!" I knew that I could keep this going for at least a good month. I was sure of it.
Friday, I got text message after text message from A-man. Also, to make matters a bit more complicated, I went on a date with RHMFT and he came over to see me earlier that morning. I was exhausted.
Then came Saturday. My phone was unusually silent. I think I got one text message from A-man. One. I knew something was awry. My BFF was in complete denial, "I'm sure he's just busy." But he wasn't busy Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday?! That's hogwash!!
Soooo, yesterday, I got a text message from A-man. He said good morning. I messaged him back. He told me that my scoundrel ex-boyfriend was in the gym. Like I cared. He asked me if I told said ex anything about us.
What? Said anything about "us"? What "us"? There is no "us"! This is the extent of my relationship with A-man: I went to watch him DJ last Thursday night. He came over to my house for like 15 minutes and we barely even kissed for like MAYBE 2 minutes. I don't even consider that making out! But whatever. In my book we were just friends. Mainly because he has two children by two separate women and apparently got married to get his citizenship....even though he's from Canada... don't they pass out citizenships to Canadians at the border? But whatever. That's not the point! The point is that we were just friends!!! That's the point.
Yesterday, he told me to call him at noon. I did. He kept asking me if I told RHMFT anything. I said no, not really, but it didn't matter anyway because RHMFT and I were just friends. (I didn't mention we were the kind of friends who made out.) I also told him, it wasn't like we were doing anything, so I didn't quite see the need to be sneaky.
You see, I wanted them both to know that I was seeing the both of them so that they could compete against each other and I would win! See?! It was so simple. And I thought it was going so well....but alas...
Last night, A-man told me to call him, so I did. He didn't call me back. I sent a text message. Nothing. No calls from RHMFT nor A-man. Not a sound. Not a peep.
I guess it serves me right, though. When I did this in college, it turned out so much better for me! What happened? Oh, well. I didn't really dig either of that much anyway...
But all I wanted was some trouble!! Some drama! Somebody confront me and call me a bitch to my face! Anything! I'm so bored!!!!!!
I can't believe it's come to this. I can't even start trouble on purpose! How has this happened? And to ME?!
I've gotta go rethink my strategies... and find some more willing victims.
3 comments:
THIS IS WHAT WE IN THE BUSINESS LIKE TO REFER TO AS "GOD GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO NOT BE DUMB!"
I suggest you take him up on it.
I'm sure I don't know what you mean. And besides that, it's only dumb if you go into a situation like this one expecting for things to turn out well! I would never expect something so silly. Don't you see?? I WANT for things to end badly! It's much more fun that way. Sick, but fun.
Ugh.
*Shaking my head and trying to control the pulsing vein in my eye...*
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