That's right. I'm so much better than you, I basically have a ticket to heaven in my pocket right now.
"But how?" You may be wondering.
Well, you see, yesterday (Sunday) I went to my church. (It's kind of a liberal church.) I went to Sunday School for an hour (10 - 11), then Big Church, as it were, from 10 - 11:45. I didn't stay for the very end because at 11:45 I headed over to SOAPM's dad's church. I got there at 12:15pm. And this time I didn't sweat. (Probably a good sign.)
HOWEVER - church didn't end until 2 pm!!!!! Holy. Mother. Of perpetual sorrow.
Now, there weren't any snakes or anything like that, but let's just say, if any of these people decide to fill their bodies with any other spirit besides the Holy One, they'll be a BARRELL of monkeys! I think I'll try and spike the communion grape juice next time I'm there. Oh, man! That's gonna be some party!
So, in all, I spent about 4 continuous hours in church. Which means I'm pretty freakin' holy. I won't even talk about the interfaith Shabatt I went to Friday! But, if we count that, I spent about 6 hours of my weekend in holy places. I think this might elevate me to Sainthood. Somebody call the Vatican. I'm not Catholic - but I think they'll overlook it because I'm exceptionally holy. EXCEPTIONALLY!
Needless to say, SOAPM's dad's church isn't exactly my style, however, I'm not too worried about it. As long as they don't bring out the snakes, I think I'll be okay. Nuthin' better than that ol' time religion, right?
10 comments:
Did you sing any spirituals? I like the one about jump down, turn around, pick a bale o' cotton, myself.
Maybe now you are even with the Big Guy for all those MakeOutBandit masquerades.
Prolly not. But hey, you gotta have a reason to go to church, right?
No snakes? I would have left after five minutes without snakes.
Yeah. we sang THAT one, forky. Maybe you're right, Jenn...but...can you do that?
And Grant Miller - obviously you're not as scared of snakes as I am.
I had a dear friend who used to say, there is no point in going to church if you haven't done anything wrong in order to repent. He thought that is what Monday thru Saturday night was for: to give you something to pray about on Sunday.
I always laughed, and then felt bad for him!!
I don't have anything to say. I just wanted to post a comment, seeing as how I was here and all.
What kind of church starts at 12:15 and ends at 2:00? Is it kind of like the 2nd Baptist we went to that time? I am not making any observations or assumptions about anything. Just wondering.
(Remember that? Also remember how it started at 10:57 precisely? That was so fun! But then it lasted practically all day. That was not so fun.)
Actually, a-dub - and here's the real shocker: their church starts at 10:30!!!!!! They had already been at it for, like, almost 2 hours when I got there!!!! And, yes, it was a little bit like that church we went to that said it started at 10:57 precisely....and then lasted ALL day.
So what you're telling us is that you were late for church? Doesn't sound very holy to me.
Queen III,
Where are you? I miss you, or are you too holy now to blog anymore? (sniff, sniff)
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