I'M SOOOOO HAPPY!!!!

I just discovered my blog works at school now!!!! Ha, ha, school administrators!!! You've given me a reason not to work!! I couldn't be happier if you raised my salary!
....well, let me think about that....

So, I'm back! And I'm typing when I should be paying attention to 1st graders, but WHO CARES?!!! I can blog again. Everyday! Maybe even twice a day! What joy is mine.

But on to other things: I was truly concerned in my last post about hurting hundreds of boys' feelings by telling them I am now dating SOAPM exclusively. However, I held fast to hope that it would all work itself out. Indeed, I wished that all the "extra" men in my life would just sort of "disappear," so I wouldn't have to grow a pair and tell them - all 500 of them - that they were all the losers and could only hope for a life of pain and misery after not being able to "hold me down," as it were.

And, I really was concerned. Really.

Do you want to know what happened?? Do you?

I found out SOAPM is married.

JUST KIDDING!!! He's not.

What really happened is, it all worked itself out! I didn't have to do anything! At all! I'm so awesome.

Hottest Guy tried to get me over to his house for a booty call and was slapped down with quick rejection. He hasn't called back. And usually, telling a guy you won't have sex with him is a sure-fire way to get him to never call you back.

The other guy I was dating kept not calling me back and then would try to blame his wrongdoing on me. The first few times, I was fooled by his shenanigans, and I'd let him take me out to dinner, so we could "work things out." At dinner I would say, "Other guy, I feel like you just want to get in my pants."

"Oh, no!! Not that at all! I really like you for you, but I am sexually attracted to you, is that so wrong?"

"Well, no I guess not," I'd say as I was devouring my Chicken Parmesean and gulping my Cosmopolitan.

"Let's go back to my place," he'd suggest.

"Okay," my tipsy mouth would reply. Everytime this happened, I intended to leave his place after 15 minutes, but somehow was persuaded to stay longer. He would then proceed to try and get in my pants. Finally, I figured out his game and stopped returning his calls. He also hasn't called back.

What joy! I didn't actually have to do anything and my whole dating life is in order!!

See?! SEE?!! Hold on to hope, above all else, and you, too can experience order without effort!

I mean, that's what I do.