What to when you're bored and feeling kind of mean

So, this summer, I went out with a musician that seemed like a pretty nice guy, but actually turned out to be kind of a jerk and a little too much like a woman for me to deal with. During our dating stint, he agreed to come to my school and talk to the kids at a special event called "Fabulous Friday." The event he was to come to was this Friday, but it got cancelled. This Friday (before the multiple make-out sessions), I was extremely bored. So, I decided to drum up just a little trouble.

After not hearing from the boy in over a month, I figured he wasn't going to come, and was actually kind of relieved, as his womanly ways were far too annoying for me to handle. But due to my extreme boredom, I thought now would be a perfect opportunity to create a little drama to entertain myself. So I emailed him:


"Boy,
Sooooo....haven't heard from you in a while....

That's cool, though. My feelings aren't hurt. Anywho - today was the day that you were going to come to my school...and I would have totally forgotten if the teacher in charge of it hadn't expressed his severe annoyance at how he tried to contact you, but you didn't respond. Now, I don't know if he really did try and contact you or not, but either way, I don't like getting bitched at.

And for future reference, typically people appreciate some kind of communication when you're going to cancel on them....

It wasn't really that big of a deal, this whole program, and I don't know if aforementioned teacher actually did try and contact you, or if you did respond, or whatever, I just know that I took the heat for you today and it wasn't a lot of fun.

ESPECIALLY since you totally seemed like a "nice" guy at first. I guess I just expected more out of you.

Well, no matter. I'll surely get over it.

-Queen "

I know. It was pretty mean. BUT, I was BORED! And - he did turn out to be kind of a jerk, so he had it comin'.
Also, no one "bitched" at me. I just made that up for dramatic effect. And the thing of it is, like a true woman, he responded! And he was very offended. And I was very delighted. Here's what we said:

"First off, the phone and email works both ways. Second, you booked me, I didn't book myself, its up to the people who book me to confirm details as I have alot of bookings. Third, I don't appreciate having my personality attacked in the manner in which it was. No one contacted me and I assumed you would to finalize details but you didn't. If you give me the name of the supposed teacher contacting me and an email, I'll tell him or her the same thing. Im a busy person with school and performing and on top of that with work. I can't manage other peoples schedules and bookings and confirm them when they ask. So yes, this is/was a big deal in the manner it was presented to me."

It was almost too easy. I squealed with delight and then responded:

"Well, I'll talk to the teacher about it. And this wasn't an 'attack.' Trust me. An attack is vicious. I certainly did not mean to come across as vicious. I'm just generally annoyed.

And you're right, the phone does work both ways...

However, we had finalized the details, I emailed you directions, and things were set in stone. You had it on your calendar, or so you said. Seemed pretty final to me. And to tell you the truth, after I hadn't heard from you in a month, I actually just forgot all about it. So no biggie. I mean, I certainly don't want to stress you out since you're so busy and important.

I guess I was just venting. Hope I didn't ruin your day.

-Queen"

Isn't it just riddled with a sarcastic and condecending tone?! I especially like the part where I call him, "so busy and important." Ugly isn't it?

I'm beginning to feel a bit like Miss Havershim.