Okay, okay...we all know how I love the black man. That's no secret. So, I'm a checkerboard chick, what can I say? It's not a crime, you know.
I'm also a fan of football...players. Don't get me wrong - I like the game a lot, too. What isn't appealing about big, muscular men in tight, translucent pants, hitting each other and showing off their brute strength? Also, much like the Romans, I enjoy violence. Not bloody gore - I'm not that bad - but all the same, I do enjoy controlled violence for entertainment purposes. Especially when I'm not directly involved. Sooooo, I like football. I'm an especial fan of the T.O....Terrell Owens that is. I don't know exactly what position he plays, but I know that he's good and has a very attractive outer shell. But, he's an idiot. And a trouble maker.
The thing is, he's no spring chicken, so the NFL knows that he's a loudmouthed trouble-maker. It's common knowledge. He's conceited and obnoxious. But he's good. 100 career touchdowns good.
It seems to me that, no franchise could hire him and expect him to change. His behaviour is much like that of a preschooler. And what did we learn in our psychology classes about childish behavior? It's usually done to get attention, so sometimes, if you ignore it, it goes away. But every time T.O. does something idiotic, EVERYONE gets their panties in a wad and T.O. gets exactly what he wants, and his behaviour gets worse.
This is my solution to the problem: ignore him. Remember the Mrs. Piggle Wiggle solution for the kid who couldn't stop showing off? She gave him invisible powder that caused him to become invisible every time he started showing off. It worked. And it can work for T.O., too.
Isn't obvious that I should be called in to solve the problem that is T.O.? I can't believe they haven't called me yet. Maybe I should call him...does anyone know his number?
Here's the
latest of the saga.
11 comments:
Oh, Chimchim!! Thank you for being so generous despite your grief!
Ooh, now you have a mysterious deleted message. I think football players today are all showoffs. I agree with Coach Landry (who, in my household growing up, was revered on a par with Abraham Lincoln) who once said, "When you get to the end zone, act like you've been there before." Whatever happened to class?
Ahhh, Tom Landry. But what has happened is now all these players have agents who encourage them to be tacky so they can get publicity and more money from their sponsers. It's all a racket. And most of these kids don't need much encouragement to be tacky. It's sad really, but I still wouldn't mind touching a few of them...you know...just to see if they're real.
And about the mysterious deleted comment. It did the same thing to me that it did to you - it published two of the same thing! Anyway - I finally got it figured out, but I was annoyed.
He's a wide receiver. And these troubles stem from his tearful pleas for a new contract because his current 7-year $49M contract isn't enough to "feed his family." So wish I was kidding.
Wow, he must have a REALLY big family.
It would be nice to actually see him cry. He's probably a pretty crier. And he probably DOES have a big family considering all the women he's probably slept with!!
Bakerman, thanks for the additional knowledge about his position. I figured he was some type of receiver seeing as how he makes touchdowns, but I didn't know what KIND of receiver he was...um...yeah...that's the ticket!
Kristen, you realize if you got your hands on him they'd say the same thing they said of King Kong:
It was beauty killed the beast!
(try to make that funny for yourself. I'm still on stoopid pills)
I'm the beauty, right?! Thanks for thinking I could break his little heart like a modern-day, black, millionaire Pip. I'll try to get Mrs. Havershim to warn him.
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