Forky and I have been "Besties" since we were 18. Since before the gay boyfriend. Since before, really, the dawn of time. In many ways, we've kind of grown up together. We've experienced many changes on this road of life together, but there is one thing that never, NEVER changes. It is this conversation:
"Forky, I'm too depressed to (eat, drink, sleep, have fun, etc.) because of (whatever my current [insignificant] crisis may be). I WANT TO DIE!!!!!"
"Queen iii, don't you think you might be overreacting just a little?"
"No!!! I'm not!! (Current [insignificant] crisis) is (insert any word that is related to total detriment, demise, or tragedy here) and MY LIFE IS OVER!!"
"Don't you think that you might want to give it, like, more than 2 hours before you so hastily decide that your life is really just one big tragedy? I mean, you could be overreacting just a tad. And didn't I tell you that if you (insert previous action that lead to current [insignificant] crisis) this would happen?"
"First of all, I DO NOT OVERREACT!!!!! Okay?! (Current [insignificant] crises) is going to be the death of me! And, I don't remember any conversation in which you told me anything about anything!" {The last statement is of course, a bold-faced lie.}
Fast-foward to the next day.
"Hey, Forky! What's up?"
"Nothing."
"So, umm, yeah, it really wasn't that bad. I might have been overreacting. tee hee."
"Really. Imagine that."
"You wanna go get drunk tonight?"
"No. I have rehearsal."
Forky and I have this same conversation, with noted variations at least once a week. We should be having it today, but I'm pretty tired of repeating myself and I'm sure that Forky is too. I'm just guessing. Forky, if you feel like having this conversation over again, just call me. I'd rather just forgo the whole process. Maybe we could think of, like, a shortened version of the whole thing...any ideas? I'm pretty open.
Oh, and by the way, last night, I might have been overreacting. tee hee.
8 comments:
Really. Imagine that.
So... no grudge match? And I was so looking forward to it.
I hope said dilemma is resolved without tears or bloodshed.
Actually, it was solved with the help of a great classic of German silent cinema and some flat champagne.
Unfortunately, Grant Miller, sometimes tears are involved. There is hardly ever bloodshed, but many, many times, there is alcohol shed.
Awwwwww. Friendship. Gotta love it.
There is nothing sadder than wasted booze. Except elderly people eating alone at Denny's. That's really sad to see.
Oh, geez, Grant Miller. That IS sad. I don't think that I've ever seen an elderly person alone at Denny's...and I hope I never will!
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