Ahhhh....the last day of school. Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job. LOVE IT. But is there anyone out there who can really say that they wouldn't look foward to 2 consecutive months of paid vacation? I can't think of anyone. Actually, it's more like 2 months and 2 weeks, but who's counting?
However, the last day of school is always just a big joke. There's never actually any school in the last day of school. Everyone knows it and no one would even try to deny it. But when there's no school at school, that's when all HELL breaks loose.
This morning, before it got unbearably hot, I let my students play outside. It was great - and easy! Easier than my job usually is - which is saying something! But then, 3rd grade came out to play. 3rd grade is the bain of my existence. They're awful. Horrible, even! However, I thought that they'd be okay just running around outside!
Oh, I am a fool indeed! In the span of about 20 minutes, I broke up 2 small fights and 1 HUGE fight (yes, we're talking about 9 year-olds). One child fell and began bleeding PROFUSELY and all over me, too, and finally one child had to be sent to the nurse's office, as he was the victim of the HUGE fight, in which several boys punched him and stepped on him.
I am so serious. They're 9. And violent. I wish every day that corporal punishment was still legal.
I know what you're all thinking: "Queeniii, how could you SAY that?! That's just teaching children to solve their problems with violence! That's no way to teach children!!"
And I say to you, come teach in the hood. Do it. Then, we'll talk.
Needless to say, the rest of my classes get to stay in and watch The Neverending Story (aah ah aah ah aah ah) in the nice, cool air conditioning. I never tell them beforehand that Artex is a doomed horse...is that wrong?
But, hey! At least I'm not bored today!!! Hallelu!
10 comments:
How does The Neverending Story NOT count as corporal punishment?? That wolf scared the CRAP out of me when I was a kid!
And whose twisted idea was it to kill Artex by making him drown in a big muddy bog full of giant sneezing turtles right at the beginning of the movie? That's just screwed up.
I can think of someone who needs a little corporal punishment. He's scrappy, fluffy, white but with a black dude's name, and has a taste for man-flesh.
Have a great summer!! See you next school year!
What?! Grant Miller, I have a computer at home...with internet access, too! There will be no summer for my blog!!!
Forky, maybe you haven't noticed, but my man-flesh eating dog gets beaten plenty!!
Happy Summer, Queenie!
Can I sign your yearbook?
"Have a great summer! Keep in touch! -Forky"
I'm so jealous. Summer vacation! Ever since I quit my job and have been freelancing, I haven't had a single day off. I used to skip work all the time when I had vacation and sick days!
I never saw The Neverending Story, but it seems like '80s kids' movies were always pretty freaky. The Labyrinth, anyone? And what about Return to Oz?!
Oh.
You're a bad mother.
One way to have a great summer is to lay around the house saying, "There's nothing to do, Mom!"
Another good one is, "I hate camp." Or "I don't want to go back to school!"
But be careful not to get bored as you repeat these phrases over and over. I worry about your boredom.
Vary the tempo and volume, place different emphases on each word. I hope you'll find this excercise to be as satisfying as I have.
Thanks Paul M. Sark!! I'm practising this RIGHT NOW!
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